Nice isn’t a superpower

I used to think being nice was my superpower, let’s say I was somewhat of a ‘people pleaser’. The ability to smooth over conflicts, anticipate other people’s needs before they voiced them, and offer a reassuring “I don’t mind” even when I did. But then it got me wondering, when did being nice turn into being invisible and taken for granted?

There’s a fine line between kindness and self-abandonment, and people pleasers walk it every day. We convince ourselves that going along with what others want makes us easy to love, that saying yes when we mean no keeps us safe. But what if, in the process of making everyone else comfortable, we slowly erase ourselves?

I see it all the time, (and I was her)…clients who feel unappreciated in relationships, drained by friendships, burnt out at work. The common thread? A belief, often buried deep, that their worth is tied to how much they give. But the truth is, when we silence our own needs, resentment doesn’t just simmer, it boils. And one day, we wake up wondering why we feel exhausted, angry, unseen, unheard, and strangely alone.

So, ask yourself: Is saying yes to everyone else worth saying no to myself?

Maybe the real superpower isn’t being nice. Maybe it’s being honest.